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How to Write a Compelling Marketing Letter: The All Important First Sentence

By Mark Satterfield

Ask typical consultants where their business comes from and it’s no surprise that you’re likely to hear; “Repeat business from existing clients and referrals.” And while there is nothing wrong with that, over-relying on current clients and referrals is one of the main reasons why so many consultants suffer from the “feast or famine” business cycle.

However, expanding one’s circle of senior-level relationships is a challenge for many consultants. Cold calling, attending networking meetings, and industry conferences tend to be either a) unpleasant or b) immensely time consuming. So, what are the other options available to consultants who feel that they have lapped the track with their existing circle of contacts?

I’ve found the most effective method for gaining initial traction is a one-page letter. Whether the letter gets through the screener and actually gets read and acted upon depends upon how it is written. And it all starts with the first sentence.

There’s an old saying in copywriting that the purpose of the first sentence is to get the reader to read the second sentence. And that’s the truth. You either hook the reader with your opening sentence, or your letter gets tossed.

But all opening hooks are not equal. First, consider who the reader is. Crafting a compelling letter introducing your consulting services to a senior executive is a very different challenge than marketing a consumer product. Thus the opening sentence must “grab” the reader, but do so in a manner that doesn’t scream “This is a sales letter and I want you to buy my services!”

The key to getting immediate attention is to communicate that you specialize in the reader’s industry and that you understand a particular problem this group faces. Why?

First, everyone thinks their problems are unique. This isn’t necessarily true, but from a marketing perspective it’s important to accept this perception. Thus, the more we communicate that we “play in their sandbox” the greater the likelihood is that our entire letter will get read.

Communicating a problem that the reader faces requires that we raise a specific, rather than generic, challenge. Saying “We know you’re concerned about cost reduction” is just too basic. You need to fly the plane at a lower level. What exactly does “cost reduction” mean to a bank, a manufacturer, an educational institution, or to your specific audience? That’s what you want to communicate.

That is quite an objective for the opening sentence. You need to demonstrate that you specialize in the reader’s industry and show that you understand an issue of substance and importance. Let me share with you an example of an opening sentence that has proven to be extremely successful. The format is as follows:

I know from speaking with other ______ (people similar to the person you are writing to) that many of them are concerned about _____ (a specific problem).

For example:

I know from speaking with other banking executives that training bank personnel to cross-sell financial services is an on-going challenge.

Note that I didn’t say that “more business” was the challenge. Rather I focused on the issue of “cross-selling”, which is a specific challenge for executives in retail banking. Thus I begin to build immediate credibility as someone who understands the issues bankers face.

This lesson applies to any group that you are writing to. You want your readers to see their reflections in your message.

Now suppose, despite all of your efforts, that what you come up with as an issue still sounds pretty obvious. That’s not a problem as long as you acknowledge it and don’t try to package it as some sort of unique insight.

Let me give you an example of a letter I wrote for my own practice (that you can easily adapt to your business). I stated a generic problem but still got readers to keep reading by adding a second sentence.

“I know from speaking with other partners of management consulting firms that new business development is an ongoing challenge. And while this may appear to be a blinding grasp of the obvious, what is less apparent is what the most successful firms are actually doing to address this challenge.”

I tested this letter with—and without—the second sentence to two mailing lists of consulting firms. The first letter drew a minimal response of .5 percent. The letter with the second sentence drew 3.7 percent, which in the world of direct response is a huge difference.

Naturally there is more to writing a compelling marketing letter that gets read and acted on than just the opening sentence. In future articles I will share with you how to continue to build initial credibility and create a call to action that motivates readers to take the next step in the relationship building process.

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Mark Satterfield is a founding partner of Gentle Rain Marketing and the creator of the Gentle Rain Marketing System. He is also the author of five books, including Power Prospecting: How to Gain Access to Key Decision Makers, How to Negotiate the Raise You Deserve, and Career Etiquette. Find out more about his services at www.gentlerainmarketing.com.