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Rebuilding Trust in Project Teams

By Dennis Reina and Michelle Reina

“I’m really upset with Chris! “I have left three voice mail messages and have sent two emails requesting the information necessary for his part of the project. He didn’t deliver as promised. He let down not only me but also his other coworkers. There is no longer trust on this team.”

Many of us can relate to the above example of broken trust. Have you ever been frustrated because you did not have what you needed to complete a project because others failed to keep their agreements? Have you ever been talked about behind your back, had someone take credit for your work, or felt micro-managed? Those behaviors and others break trust everyday for project teams.

Most project team leaders strive to build trusting relationships. They recognize that trust is the foundation for healthy work environments and performance. To sustain trust we must recognize a core truth—trust will be built and trust will be broken.

When trust erodes, relationships and performance are compromised; we shut down, we pull back, we question the intentions of others, and we’re hesitant to take risks and collaborate. While distrust causes pain, doubt, and confusion, it may also be used to strengthen relationships and provide significant lessons if we choose to work through it. The Seven Steps for Healing guide us and provide a road map for rebuilding trust.

The Seven Steps for Healing

The Seven Steps for Healing, from the book Trust & Betrayal in the Workplace: Building Effective Relationships in Your Organization, help to rebuild trust on the individual, team, and organization levels.

1. Observe and acknowledge what has happened

Start with awareness. One of the greatest mistakes leaders make in challenging times is to assume that once broken, trust may be re-established on its own. This view is both unrealistic and irresponsible.

Assess the health of your project team. Notice what your people are experiencing and acknowledge it. Pay attention to what behaviors are building and breaking trust. Find out what is important to people. Listen to what they are saying at the water cooler, in the break rooms, outside of meetings. Remember, people in pain need to be listened to.

2. Allow feelings to surface

Give people permission to express their concerns, issues, and feelings in a constructive manner. Create safe forums that allow people to express their fear, anger, and frustration. Doing so helps them let go of the negativity they are holding, freeing up that energy for rebuilding relationships and returning their focus to performance.

Help people verbalize their pain. People sometimes have pain they are afraid or feel unable to share. When you give your attention to understanding your employees, you let them know that you respect their pain. Remember it is part of the role of a leader to listen, observe, and acknowledge. This is difficult work, but necessary for rebuilding relationships. Your employees don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care—about them and their well-being.

3. Get and give support

Recognize your employees’ needs. These needs must be met before rebuilding can occur. People have informational needs regarding direction and strategy, and relationship needs associated with belonging to the team and their role on it.

Give support! The number one mistake leaders make is failing to seek support for themselves and for their employees. Rebuilding trust is hard work. We can not do it alone. We need support to fully understand what occurred, how it has impacted ‘us,’ and to do the necessary work to move through the healing process.

4. Reframe the experience

Put the experience into a larger context. Help your employees reframe their experience by discussing the bigger picture and extenuating circumstances. Acknowledge how they have been impacted.

Engage in inquiry. Let people’s questions guide the conversation. Responding honestly will provide understanding, awareness, truth, and renewed hope.

Help people realize they have choices. When experiencing betrayal, employees may feel vulnerable and at the mercy of forces outside of their control. They need help to see that they have choices about how to react to their circumstances. The more people are aware that they can choose their actions, the more they are able to take responsibility.

5. Take responsibility

Take responsibility for your role. We take responsibility when we acknowledge our mistakes and say we are sorry. Telling the truth, without justification and rationalization, demonstrates trustworthiness.

Help others take responsibility for their roles. People in pain tend to blame their leaders and behave in ways that contribute to betrayal. Help them to see their part in the situation. Employees may not have control over what happened, but they do have control over how they choose to respond.

Make amends and return with dividends. Actions speak louder than words. Take the first step with employees. Rebuilding trust does not simply mean giving back what was taken away. It means returning something in better shape.

Manage expectations. Avoid future betrayals; keenly manage expectations. Employees want to know what is expected of them and what they can expect in return. Emphasize the need to negotiate when expectations cannot be fulfilled.

Keep your promises. Be careful of what you promise and what you appear to promise. Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep. If you realize that you cannot keep promises, renegotiate.

6. Forgive yourself and others

Recognize that forgiveness is freedom. Anger, bitterness, and resentment deplete our energy and interfere with relationships and performance. When we help people forgive, we help them free themselves. Yet, for most people, forgiveness takes time, and happens gradually.

Shift from blaming to focusing on needs. Help people shift from blaming to problem-solving. Explore the issues, concerns, and fears that need to be resolved for healing to occur. What must be said or done for healing to happen?

7. Let go and move on

Accept what is. Acceptance is not condoning, but experiencing the reality of what happened without denying, disowning, or resenting it. Face the truth without blame. Help employees invest their emotional energies in creating a different future.

Realize that you won’t always accomplish your goals. Yet make a good-faith effort and keep your intentions honorable. It is quite acceptable for leaders to disagree with their employees or not support a particular cause. Effective leaders do so with honesty and integrity.

Take the time and make the commitment. When trust is lost, it is regained only by a sincere dedication to the key behaviors and practices that earned it in the first place.

Rebuilding trust is not easy, particularly for project teams that are virtual or geographically dispersed. However, it is essential. The cost of not doing it is too high to be ignored.

Trust is regained when leaders play an instrumental role in supporting their employees to heal from betrayal, rebuild trust, and renew relationships with their team members. The results are fully engaged employees who are invested in what they do, who fully bring themselves to work, take risks, hold themselves accountable, and ultimately, contribute to the team by performing at a higher level.

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Michelle L. Reina, Ph.D., and Dennis S. Reina, Ph.D., are founders of The Reina Trust Building Institute, co-authors of Trust & Betrayal in the Workplace: Building Effective Relationships In Your Organization. Contact them at: www.trustinworkplace.com; dsreina@trustinworkplace.com or mlreina@trustinworkplace.com.